Soundtrack of My Life #2

"A Mighty Fortress" performed by The Wedgewood

We begin where we left off in Three Bells post, an idyllic, innocent world and begin to move into the "real" world of problems and strife.

To start, I heard this song in the last half of the 60s. The time is not really important because the history of The Wedgewood, the group who performed the song, is for another story. 

The point is that when I heard it the first time, it blew my socks off. Having grown up with only music from Chapel Records (the monolithic SDA record label) which consisted mostly of benign hymns by male quartets, the occasional "operatic" soloists and some very tame gospel music. I wasn't ready for symphonic folk rock with a pipe organ! (Note: I really didn't encounter real pop music until I hit high school.) I felt, for the first time, that someone in my generation was performing sacred music that was actually capable of creating a powerful emotional response to God. And, add to that, the was recognition of God's people needing protection from a powerful evil in the world. It was at the same time terrifying, awe inspiring and kind of comforting. 

The opening of the song is pastoral and safe and then at 2:30 in the track the pipe organ hits. I still get goose bumps! For the first time, God as power to be dealt with makes it into my teen consciousness. And my life became a journey to stay in the safety of the fort. 

This is actually kind of hard to describe but I'll try. I went from feeling safe and cocooned to realizing my life was going to be a battle against forces far more powerful than me. More importantly, I could only safely wage this war from the shelter of the fortress, which in my mind, meant the Seventh-day Adventist Church.

Yeah, there'd be sorties out into the "real" world to share the good news of the safety of the fort, but I was only truly safe inside. Evil could contaminate anyone and anything by mere proximity! Additionally, there was safety for me only if I was willing to risk my life to defend the fort (meaning God and his people) and there was never a time I could let down my guard…never.

I'm guessing you can already see the challenge. The stress of constant war, however cerebral, takes a toll. There is NEVER a chance to truly rest…until I get to heaven. And as I was taught, it turns out that I could fight the good fight all my life and one unconfessed sinful thought, let alone a sinful action, before I died would doom me first to burning alive in a lake of fire (the SDA version of hell) and then everlasting blackness once my guilt was paid for by my suffering, not a comforting thought, at all.

Years go by and I fight the good fight with widely varying results and a good deal of pain and guilt. And then one day, it hits me. This whole "spirituality as warfare" metaphor is deeply flawed because when it is applied in real life, one inevitably ends up with a community of casualties at best, and spiritual zombies, at worst.

The song became a serious warning rather than any kind of  comfort. It turns out I and most of my cohorts needed a hospital, not a fort. I needed healing, not protecting…a journey that I began with a great deal of foreboding.

Moving forward my song list has very little chronological integrity. These songs overlap, repeat and develop deeper meanings as the years have gone by. And some are rather new but the fit exactly where I need them.

I hope you have as much fun reading these as I'm having writing them, although this one was tough, getting the tone of the transition right. However, listening to the song may help it make sense.Feel free to leave comments here or on social media. I deeply enjoy feedback and your stories!If you missed the first episode, you can find the songs as I add them by clicking here.