Soundtrack of My Life #5

This is a hard one. I've been procrastinating getting it out. Knowing what I know now, it’s no longer a scary song, just a sad one. But, it's still not fun at all to ponder.

50+ years of marriage have taught me several things. First and foremost, any successful marriage, or even long term relationship, is bound to have rough spots. People change over time and depending on how long you’ve been together, the changes can be significant. The differences in your worldview between the time you are 25 and 45 are huge.

In fact, that’s why the stereotypes about mid-life crises are so strong. We grow into different people, with different views of life and what it means to be happy and fulfilled. And sometimes, the challenges of resolving these conflicts in a long term relationship seem, and often are, insurmountable.

Without going into the gory details, we landed in a mess that seemed at the time, insurmountable. We had been given no models for how to even just muddle through. It was more than a little terrifying.

When I heard this song, it absolutely nailed the feelings I felt as I was struggling with life during this period. So it made the list.

I’m going to keep this short and sweet. You know how things ended up. We’re still married, happily! But, I also want to be crystal clear, it took time, courage, and committing to learn and practice new ways to be with each other. It required wise counselors, bothfriends and professionals. It also demanded sustained major effort, lots of energy and perseverance on both of our parts.

It was not easy and it required both of us to look at our contributions to the mess we'd made. And, we did it. Suffice it to say, we were able to find many more than “one reason” to stay together!

I guarantee the next song in this list won't take as long as this one to release!